Do you find yourself worrying about the future? Does your mind easily wander to “what could go wrong” even in the presence of good news? Excessive worrying is something many of us do and it can come at a big cost.
It’s natural and actually quite adaptive for our minds to focus on all the potential ways that something could go wrong.
Why? Because our brains evolved to scan for environmental threats as a way to keep us safe from danger. It wasn’t always safe to let our guard fully down when there could be a potential threat looming in the distance. So, we evolved to develop what’s called the negativity bias, a tendency to focus on negative events and potential negative outcomes in our environment. This adaptation is especially useful if we grew up in unsafe and threatening environments.
Our brain’s ability to scan for threats is a highly adaptive feature that has one job: to protect us.
The Cost of Worrying
But what happens when that part of the brain is continuously activated, even in the face of positive news or a joyful moment?
Well, it can turn into excessive worrying. If you’ve ever had a positive moment, such as getting a new promotion or having an amazing date, only to find yourself immediately going to a place of “what if…X goes wrong”, then the worried, fearful part of your mind is online. While it’s natural to have worry thoughts, it can be extremely debilitating and costly to our well-being.
Not only is it detrimental to our nervous system when we’re on high alert, but excessive worrying also robs us of the present moment – especially moments of joy.
Researcher, Brene Brown has found that joy is one of the most vulnerable emotions for us humans to feel. She notes that many people who struggle with tolerating joy, turn straight to this notion of “dress rehearsing tragedy.” Brown explains this as being a projection play out something horrible happening even when there is no evidence that it could occur. It’s a false mechanism to protect ourselves from future threats. We think – often subconsciously – that if we imagine the worst-case scenario than we’ll somehow be prepared if it were to happen. The truth is; however, that scenario may never happen or even have a likelihood of happening. What “dress rehearsing tragedy” actually does is steal all the potential moments of joy in our lives – making joy and most other positive emotions feel few and far between.
How to Shift from a Worry Mind to a Grateful Mind
If any of this resonates with you, don’t “worry” (kidding.) There is good news. Firstly, know that your worried mind and capacity to dress rehearse tragedy comes from a self-protective place. Of course, you’re not consciously choosing to worry over every little thing. It’s an unconscious pattern.
So, if you raise your consciousness around this pattern by practicing mindful awareness around your worrying, you can begin to name it. By naming the worrying thoughts, you can start to dis-identify with them and remind yourself that thoughts are just thoughts. They aren’t truths or facts.
Beyond mindfulness of your thoughts, another tool that can help you to start shifting out of your worrying mind is practicing gratitude.
Brene Brown’s research demonstrates that folks who don’t spiral into a state of worrying tend to turn to gratitude instead. Practicing gratitude helps ground us into the present moment rather than catastrophizing about the future.
What does this look like?
Next time you’re experiencing a joyful moment and your mind goes straight to “Ah! What if [blank] goes wrong?!”, notice that you’re having a worrying thought and see if you can shift your attention to being thankful for that moment – “Wow, I’m so grateful that I had a really good time on that date.” Even by turning your attention away from the fear for a split second, you are starting to shift your mindset and patterning.
Like anything in life, it’s a practice. And while it may feel unintuitive initially, over time, what we practice gets stronger