We’ve all been told the importance of practicing self-care. It’s a buzz word we hear all around us – but what does it really mean? Is it really as simple as throwing on a face mask at the end of the day?
In our hectic, busy lives, self-care can often feel like an afterthought. Many of us deem it to be a luxury that’s only deserved once both ends of the candle are burnt. But the truth is, self-care is an essential practice that we must learn to prioritize and integrate into our lives on a daily basis.
What is Self-Care really?
Often when people hear the term self-care, they think of luxurious bubble baths, massages, and dreamy vacations on the beach. While these are undoubtedly relaxing experiences, it’s problematic to think of self-care in such narrow terms. When we reduce self-care to these examples, it’s easy to scoff at the idea of “practicing” self-care. You may be thinking, “I don’t have time to take long bubble baths at night!” or “Who can afford to get regular massages every week?!”.
So let’s start with broadening our definition of self-care.
Self-care is an action taken to show up for ourselves and prioritize our well-being. Dr. Tara Swart, author of The Source: Open Your Mind, Change Your Life, defines self-care as a “means of listening to your body and providing it with what it requires to thrive physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.” In this way, self-care can come in all shapes and sizes. Everything from turning off Netflix and retiring to bed for a decent sleep, to making sure you step outside for fresh air, to setting boundaries and saying no.
But here’s the real public service announcement. You don’t have to wait for your annual vacation to show up for yourself and honor your own needs. You also don’t need endless funds to practice self-care.
Self-Care Happens Through Micro-Actions
You can practice self-care – ie. showing up for yourself, every single day. Even if you’re overextended at work, caring for your family, and balancing a million balls in the air. What’s important is that you define what self-care means to you and determine how to start saying YES to yourself and NO to what is not serving you.
Drawing from Dr. Swart’s definition, we can start thinking about self-care as it pertains to our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual selves. Most of us when looking at these different areas of our lives need more attention to at least one if not at all of these parts of ourselves.
Putting Self-Care into Practice
So ask yourself, which of these areas are getting the most and the least of your attention right now? How can you show up for yourself more physically? In what ways can you attend more to your emotional needs?
Next, identify at least ONE micro action you can take in the area that needs your attention.
Consider an action that is both realistic and attainable. For example, if you’re seeking to attend to your spiritual self by establishing a meditation practice, determine what level of commitment feels achievable. Is it twice a week for 5 minutes? Everyday for 3 minutes?
There is no action step that is too small. Start wherever you need to – just remember that you want to commit to an action that you can practice consistently. Consistency is what drives habit formation, which supports the integration of this practice into your life.
You also want to be wary of unhelpful thoughts that may sound like, “going to sleep early isn’t REALLY that important” or “I don’t have time to go for a walk this week. I have too many other important things to do.” While you may have weeks that feel hectic and moments where self-care feels selfish or indulgent, remember this – perfection is not the aim. It’s about recognizing there will always be moments for you to show up for yourself, no matter how small the action taken.